The latest release available from the legendary David Roter features an all-star cast of Blue Oyster Cult's Albert Bouchard, Joe Bouchard and Buck Dharma, the Dictators' Andy Schernoff. Tommy Mandel (Bryan Adams), Soozie Tyrell (Bruce Springsteen, Buster Poindexter) Crispin Cioe (Uptown Horns), Jack Rigg, Richard Julian. The lyrics are available below:

Legends of New York

Robert Chambers was born to win

An imitation preppy with a Kennedy grin

His mama hung with the rich

And hoped and prayed

Her boy could be like them some day

But Bobby was strange

He wasn't wrapped too tight

He was good in the day

But very bad at night

He took Jenny Levin

To Central Park

He choked the life out'a her in the dark

New York, New York

New York, New York

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Bernard Getz was a nervous guy

He chewed on his shoes while the world walked by

Big chested women he could not get enough

He bought a leather jacket just to look tough

Well he went on the subway

Went on the "A"

With four young homeboys wanted to get paid

He pulled a gun

Out of the blue

He said, "I got a little something for each of you"

Blood and bodies all over the car

That's how Bernard Getz became a superstar

New York, New York

New York, New York

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I was born in the darkness

I love the night

I sleep on subways

Under fluorescent light

I'm nobody's son

I don't belong to anyone

There's not a heartbeat inside me that cares

Now you might turn around

Cause you hear a sound

Nobody's there

My name is Dartman

That's what the people say

A little bit of pain

And then I run away

Whores in the city

Treat me like dirt

I put my lips together

Someone gets hurt

New York, New York...................

Jack Rigg: guitar

Albert Bouchard: drums

Andy Shernoff: bass

Joe Bouchard: keys

Crispin Cioe: sax

Richard Julian: background vocals

David Roter vocals

Ice Ice Maybe

All right Big Dave, that's a keeper.

Albert, do you think that was, that was like uh - that sounded authentic- right like authentic rap?

Yeah, uh a yeah.

So um, you think Puff Daddy would like it? You got his address?

I think Puff Daddy's got too much on his plate right now. He's with Jennifer Lopez and the revenge killings.

How about Tupac? I used to run with him years ago, you know in Comden..

Uh Dave, Tupac is dead..

How come nobody tells me this shit? So Tupac is dead, Biggie Smalls is dead.

Well, like who could I sent my stuff to?

How about Vanilla Ice?

Bu-But isn't Vanilla Ice like played?

Oh no he's very big in Japan and Utah.

David & Al

Shenequa's Having A Baby

First thing you smell, is the smell of piss

And it's cold as hell, on a night like this

In the kitchen is a picture of Jesus holding hands with Biggie Smalls

One naked light bulb throws shadows on the wall

In the back room is a broken window, letting in the rain

And a young girl on a mattress, dreaming of the rain

Sheniqua's havin' a baby

Sheniqua's havin' a baby

Sheniqua's havin' a baby

Even the angels

Are somewhere else tonight

There's nothing in this world like a pretty girl

All the boys fall at their feet

Giving diamond rings and precious things

Honeymoons so sweet

Well ya know she charges twenty dollars

On a slow night maybe ten

Prince Charming zips his fly

And then she's back on the street again

Sheniqua's havin' a baby

Sheniqua's havin' a baby

Sheniqua's havin' a baby

Waiting for a miracle

To drop from the empty sky

Does anyone out there have a heart?

She bites down hard on her lip, just to make it bleed

She screams out, "Oh my God- get this fuckin' thing outside of me!"

But the hours fall away and so does the night

And you can hear a baby cry, as the room fills up with light

An old man shuffles into the room

His eyes bug out his body shakes

She says, "My man, here's a twenty, can you go out and get me some Pampers, and some Sugar Frosted Flakes. Some Ring Dings?"

Sheniqua's havin' a baby

Sheniqua's havin' a baby

Sheniqua's havin' a baby

Tiny fingers reach out, and touch her face

Tiny hands reach out

Albert Bouchard: drums, bass, guitar

Tommy Mandel: keys

Crispin Cioe: sax

Zeitlin Perez: background vocals

David Roter vocals

Joan Crawford Revisited

Junkies down in Brooklyn are going crazy

They laughin' just like hungry dogs in the street

Policeman are hiding behind the skirts of little girls

The sky has turned the color of frozen meat

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ,no, no,

Joan Crawford has risen from the grave

Joan Crawford has risen from the grave

Catholic schoolgirls have thrown away their mascara

To chain themselves to the axels of Big Mack trucks

And the sky is filled with herds of shivering angels

The fat lady laughs? Gentlemen start your trucks

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Joan Crawford has risen from the grave

Joan Crawford has risen from the grave

Christina- Christeeeenaaaa

Mother is home

Come to mother!

But mother, you're dead mother

Ha ha ha I was only sleeping Christina, not dead

Wh-What do you want mother?

I want you to put on that powder blue suit and come with me to the Oprah Winfrey show. And I want you to deny all those bad things you've been saying about me.

But mother, I'm a grown woman - I don't have to do what you tell me

Ha ha ha ha - yes you do!

But but mother, I have two children of my own

Ha ha ha ha Do you think that means anything? Now take off those Birkenstocks and put on those Gucci red pumps and come with me.

But mother I've had 140,000 dollars worth of therapy mother

No Christina

Therapy mother

Christina please, please, please

Therapy mother

No, no, no, nooooooooo

DIE

She's gone, she's gone, I'm free, I'm free to live my life

Mother, come back mother, please come back. I won't go to the psychotherapist anymore

Only, please come back

Jack Rigg: guitar

Albert Bouchard: drums, keys

Joe Bouchard: bass

Soozie Tyrell: violin

Richard Julian: background vocals

David Roter vocals

For Men Only

This is the part of the CD that's devoted to the men. OK boys. Put your hands on the stereo. I'm going to ask you a few questions designed to open you up a little.

So, how many men out there love football?

How many of you felt a little tense when that whole Monica Lewinsky- President Clinton thing blew up?

And when you saw Titanic, and you finally realized that Leonardo de Caprio was going to die, how many of you cried a little bit into your popcorn?

Hey, ever been impotent?

David & Al

My Man Won't Stand

You can take all the tea in China

You can take the rice in Carolina

All the morphine they pass out on the street

The taste of a cherry, a cherry so sweet

You say you want to be my girl

We can be together in this lonely world

My man, my man won't stand, my man

My man, my man won't stand, my man

My man won't stand tonight

All the crazy laughter

The twisted lies

Those funny looks that cut me down to size

I don't wanna go anywhere

I'm gonna stay so small

I'm so tired and sick of it all

You know my man, my man won't stand, my man

My man, won't stand, my man

My man won't stand tonight

Would you believe in a love at first sight?

Well yeah

What do you see when they turn out the lights?

Albert, you know my wife left me. What are you trying to do? Get me to commit suicide or something?

You wear your Victoria Secret.

You say, "Davy, you can touch.

Can I put your CD on my stereo?

You know I love your music so much!"

I kiss your lips, the perfume in your hair

Then you say, "May I touch you down there?"

Yes, yes, yes -uh no

My man, my man won't stand, my man

My man, my man won't stand, my man

My man, my man won't stand tonight

Yeah, my man won't stand tonight

I'm sorry sweetheart- it's not me, it's you

And my man won't stand tonight

Jack Rigg: guitar

Albert Bouchard: drums

Andy Shernoff: bass

Joe Bouchard: keys

Buck Dharma: lead guitar

Richard Julian: background vocals

David Roter vocals

The Roter Curse

Doctor, I guess you have to say that I have uh problems with my self-esteem, especially uh sexually.

Congratulations Mr. Roter, you've taken the first step on the road to recovery.

Uh thank-thank-you doctor. Well I guess it all started uh one night uh my father uh came into my bedroom while I was uh masturbating and you know the room was-was pitch black and-and I couldn't see him. All I could hear was this voice, saying, "Son, if you touch that thing one more time, I'm gonna start cutting."

That's uh terrifying. You must have been terrified Mr. Roter.

Uh y-yes I was and as a matter of fact since uh that night every time I've had a wet dream it always ends with the image of platters and platters filled with cocktail frankfurters smothered in blood. But uh bu-but since I've been taking Prozac it looks a little more like ketchup.

David & Al

Pretty Baby

How did we get such a pretty baby?

How did we get such a pretty boy?

How did we get such a pretty baby?

How did we get such a pretty boy?

One more!

How did we get such a pretty baby?

How did we get such a pretty boy?

Will he have his mama's eyes? Oh yeah

Will they cut me down to size? Uh huh

Will he have his grandma's cheeks? Oh yeah

Will he spit food when he speaks? Uh huh

Will he have his dad's neurosis? Oh yeah

Or just his halitosis? Uh huh

How did we get such a pretty baby?

How did we get such a pretty boy?

I wonder

How did we get such a pretty baby?

How did we get such a pretty boy?

Will he be gay like his cousin Matt? Oh yeah

There's nothing wrong with that! Un huh

An asshole like his Uncle Joe? Oh yeah

There's not a thing he doesn't know Un huh

Bitter like his Auntie Gus? Oh yeah

And have contempt for all of us Un huh

Or friendly like his cousin Al Oh yeah

And have one hundred drinking pals Uh huh

Oh... How did we get such a pretty baby?

How did we get such a pretty boy?

I wonder

How did we get such a pretty baby?

How did we get such a pretty boy?

Hey -oooh wa- oooh wa -ooh wa- ooh wa- ooh wa

Why do daddies fall in love?

Oom ba ba- oom ba-oom ba -oom ba

Ah Jakey- you know your daddy loves you. But you know Jakey, I love you unconditionally. I know that's a big word and you don't know what it means now but it means whatever you do it's all right with me Jakey. You wanna get married, you wanna marry a black girl, a white girl. It's ok. Daddy don't care. A Serbian girl, a Chechnya girl, yo, Iraqi I don't- go with Saddam Hussein's daughter. Doesn't matter to me. I love you Jakey. Only one thing Jake. Don't go with no fat girl ok? Look, don't make my mistakes. You know you'll be watching TV, you'll be settled down and be oh it's so good and then all of a sudden, "Jakey! Get me a diet coke and some cashew nuts." You don't want that Jakey. Hey- Look you might be gay Jake. Yeah, that's all right, I love you. Be gay but-but only one thing Jake. No Broadway show tunes Jake. No Hello Dolly, no theme from Cats, no Memories. I never intended to raise a young Barbra Streisand Jacob. Don't do that. Oh oh another thing Jake. Don't be a transvestite. Cause you know, let me tell you, you buy the fanciest gown by like you know Javinchi or Gavinchi or-or even Tommy Hilfiger. What is it loo- you see the stubble and you never get rid of the effect of you know with the shoulders and everything. Oh and Jake you know you spend thousands of dollars on a wig. I mean you get a wig like what Barbra Streisand would wear or maybe Diana Ross and the best you can hope for Jake is to look maybe like the rabbi's wife when she's in Atlantic City on her anniversary. OK Jakey I'm only saying this is because you know I've made my mistakes.

Daddy. daddy?

What is it Jakey? What is it? Did I wake you up Jakey?

Daddy you talk so much shit. I can't sleep. I'm dreaming about the transvestites and the rabbi's wife is chasing me.

Oh Jakey! I don't-what do you want? What do you want daddy to do?

I want daddy to shut the fuck up already!

OK Jake, if that's what you want. It's just that daddy's made so many mistakes. You know I'm like a regular professor of pain and I don't want you to go through the same thing. Wait-wait a second Jake. Listen- I think I hear an angel.

oooh wa oooh wa - ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa

oooh wa oooh wa- ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa

oooh wa oooh wa- ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa

oooh wa oooh wa- ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa

Why do daddies fall in love?

Go to sleep Jacob. Be a nice boy.

Albert Bouchard: percussion, vocals

Zeitlin Perez: background vocals

Richard Julian: background vocals

David Roter vocals

I Love My Mom

Feed me when I'm hungry

Clothe me when I'm cold

Good lookin' girl

Even though she's gettin' old

When I was lonely she held me through the night

Kissed me on my mouth

Man I knew that wasn' t right

I love my mom

I love my mom

Oh what a mom

Well she was born in Budapest

She moved to East New York

Zsa Zsa Gabor taught her how to walk

She met my father

Who sold chinchilla hats

One night he touched her titty

And that was that

He loved my mom

Yes he-he loved my mom

He loved my mom

I'm living in this furnished room

Too drunk to care

Telephone rings

Answering machine throws a voice up in the air

David pick up. It's your mother David. I know you're home. Pick up David. Pick up.

Oh hi mom. Yeah I'm doing great mom. No, no- no really wonderful. But yeah-yeah there's something I want to say to you mom. I........

I love my mom

I love my mom

I love my mom

Yeah oh what a mom

Mr. Drummer Man

Jack Rigg: guitar

Albert Bouchard: drums

Andy Shernoff: bass

Joe Bouchard: keys

Soozie Tyrell: background vocals

Richard Julian: background vocals

David Roter vocals

Sir Elton Kizmyaz

Hey there Bernie, this is Sir Elton. Bernie, did you hear? There's a new hot dead chick on the block. Yeah

Diana. Dead. W-Well yes I-I'm very broken up about it. But listen. Bernie, I've got an idea. You know that song you have about Marilyn Monroe. Let's 86 that Candle in the Wind bullshit. Yeah yeah write some new lyrics about Diana. Bernie. Mate. It's going to be big, really big. Bigger than the theme from the "Lion King".

And Bernie Taupin said, "Not only are you a genius Sir Elton, you're quite a human being."

Well you know when I first started writing songs I was in love with a girl named Barbara Anne Jeffroy and so I wrote my first song- "Barbara, Barbara, I love you. Can I give you money? Please let me touch you- uh uh". And then I fell in love with Margaret Flaugherty so I wrote this song- "Margaret, Margaret I love you. Pl-Please can I-I'll give you money? Can I touch you? uh uh." So when Barbara Anne Jeffroy found out that I had rewritten her song, she said, "David Roter, you are one lying scumbag." And I even think there was some kind of Jewish slur in there. I don't really get it. Elton John- sensitive guy. David Roter- scumbag Christ -killing bastard.

David

Norma Jean

I remember

Marilyn Monroe

Seemed to be smilin'

And the day she died

I remember Marilyn Monroe

I saw her at the picture show

She seemed to be smilin' down at me

And the day she died

I just sat down and cried

I cut out her picture

And I put it on my wall

She was a red shirt

Tight skirt

Got me in the alley

But you know it didn't hurt

Norma Jean, sweet Norma Jean

Ahhhh Norma Jean

Joe di Maggio he's a highway now

Wanted to love her but they didn't know how

Refrain

Arthur Miller had a teenage crush

I think he loved her just a little too much

Refrain

JFK, Bobby too

Not much left when they were through

Refrain

Seven year itch

Daddy's little bitch

She was the light that died

Refrain

Jack Rigg: guitar

Albert Bouchard: drums

Andy Shernoff: bass

Joe Bouchard: keys

Soozie Tyrell: violin, background vocals

Richard Julian: background vocals

David Roter vocals

Lesbian Midget Motorcycle Gang

I was showing off my neighborhood, Park Slope, Brooklyn to my friends Albert and Jack when we saw a group of Hondas roaring down 7th Ave. And I said, "Oh my God that's them. I've jus-I've heard about them. I didn't know it was true. They were like the white buffalo. That's the lesbian midget motorcycle gang." They simultaneously came to a stop, got out, took off their helmets, fluffed their hair. "Yuz muthafuckas laughin at us?" Albert and Jack both pointed at me. "Him, him, it was him!" So I picked up one of the midgets and I said, "C'mon. You got to admit that you guys are really cute." A little fist exploded into my jaw. And I was down, down- and it seemed like a thousand tiny little motorcycle boots kicking, kicking, kicking. Helplessly I looked up at my two friends. They both shook their heads, "We'd love to give you a hand Dave, but you know, the midgets are right."

David

My Sister's Gynecologist

My sister's gynecologist lives in a trailer park

His windows are always closed

His rooms are always dark

He might offer you coffee

But he makes you say pretty please

And when he serves the Half and Half

It looks just like cottage cheese

Mama,mama,mama

Papa, papa, papa

Gyna, gyna-

Cologist

Repeat

He's angry at his patients

He's angry at the world

Now he dresses just like a woman

But he breaks like a little girl

Sister, oh sister why do you see that guy?

She just shook her head and said,

"He's the only one who takes GHI GHI -GHI

Refrain

Refrain repeated

Jack Rigg: guitar

Buck Dharma: guitar

Albert Bouchard: drums

Andy Shernoff: bass

Joe Bouchard: keys

Soozie Tyrell: background vocals

David Roter vocals

Congratulations Mr. Roter

As you know I have a fourteen month old son and just a few days ago I was giving him a bath and I noticed he-he was kind of touching his-a his penis. And I thought to myself, "Ok-the Roter neurosis ends HERE." And I said, "Son, it's ok touch it, touch it as much as you want. As a matter of fact you know Daddy likes to use a little KY jelly. It enhances the pleasure."

Yes Mr. Roter. KY jelly can be very effective when used under the supervision of a professional psychoanalyst.

Oh-oh yes, yes isn't it doctor? Well anyway, uh I noticed though, he-he wasn't touching his penis with any sense of pleasure. He appeared to me as if he was trying to just rip it off! And I thought, you know my wife only allows me to uh walk around the house fully clothed. So he's never seen a penis. So he identifies with the va-the vagina.

That's very insightful Mr. Roter, very insightful.

Thank-you doctor. So I pulled out my-my penis and I pointed to his and I pointed to mine, "eh eh-eh eh." And then doctor I think- I think he was getting connection because then he pointed to his penis and said, "eh eh-eh eh." and he made a little fist and it was like yes, son, yes, "eh eh-eh eh". But then he did a remarkable thing doctor. He pointed to my dick-my dick and said the word "sma" "sma" "sma" and then I realized my son was pointing at my di- penis and saying the word "small". And then I-I truly realized the ambivalence of fatherhood. You know part of me was so proud that he was saying his first word but the fact remained doctor, he was pointing at my cock and saying the word "small". And nobody, I don't care who the fuck you are, nobody does that to me. But then again, part of my brain said, "David, he is an infant. You must protect and nurture him." So I looked at my son and I said, "Son, in all fairness, I'd have to say, that if you think that daddy's dick is small, then uh daddy would have to say that your little pea-shooter is tiny, little Mr. wise-guy toddler, infintesimal. Yo boy, can you say the word microscopic?" Just then I realized my wife was standing behind me with her arms crossed and she said uh, "David, what are you doing?" And I looked up and said, "Hmm, teaching our boy how to love his body?" Well you know doctor, that-that she can be so judgmental. I guess what I'm trying to ask you is like, "W-W-What do you think?"

I think you're a fucking asshole, ha ha ha.......... Oops, slipped.

David & Al

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